Living with a Functioning Alcoholic Husband What Are My Options?

The permission was obtained from all concerned authorities in the beginning. The ethical clearance was obtained from the Ethics Committee of the Institute. Written informed consent was taken from each study subject, and rapport was developed. The data were collected by conducting the individual interview of each study subject using above-mentioned questionnaires. So, when supporting your loved one, it can be beneficial to lead with love, compassion, and understanding. If they’re not receptive, keep trying — and set boundaries to protect your own well-being.

You may want to see an addiction counselor or therapist on your own to rehearse your approach and have a plan in place. Dating or living with an alcoholic is often compared to riding a roller coaster. The relationship is filled with dramatic highs and lows, and there’s very little time spent moving forward in a calm, level fashion. A high-functioning alcoholic generally consumes as much alcohol as someone with high functioning alcoholic husband a classic alcohol use disorder, but they never show the typical signs of intoxication. “They may be quite skilled at hiding their alcohol use and not fit ‘alcoholic’ stereotypes,” said Travis Chenoweth, a social worker at Banner Behavioral Health Hospital in Scottsdale, Arizona. They may acknowledge that they drink more alcohol than they should but deny that it’s a problem and that need to stop drinking.

Signs of a Functional Alcoholic

And any alcohol abuse raises the odds of domestic violence, child abuse and neglect, and fetal alcohol syndrome. No matter how good or bad you imagine functioning alcoholic behavior to be, it is advisable to seek expert advice in any regard. Most addiction professionals have a keen eye for the many indicators of alcoholism and may design a suitable treatment plan depending on the individual’s needs.

However, with changes in gender roles and growth of feminism, the engaged coping has turned high. Moreover, in Indian society, marital separation owing to drinking problem is still considered more stigmatic than staying in a conflicting discordant relation. The consequences of marital separation for the children are so overestimated that females do all they can to change their partner’s drinking problem for the sake of maintaining the marriage. Many a times, in initial few years of problem, they begin with tolerant styles; however, a hope to get things better leads to more of engaged coping. Such styles when employed over years without any positive outcome ultimately compel the wives to engage in withdrawal coping.

When It’s Time to Seek Help

High-functioning alcoholism often arises when someone helps to enable it in another person. For example, the alcoholic may chronically borrow money from a friend or loved one to cover their habit. Depending on the severity of your spouse’s alcohol dependence, a round-the-clock, immersive detox program that residential treatment provides may be needed.

By not enabling your alcoholic spouse, you must set boundaries, which is difficult at first. Seeking outside help can assist you in this, such as therapy, counseling, or a support group. When dealing with a functioning alcoholic, it may feel like the lines are blurred as to what will help them stop drinking or what will make the drinking or substance use increase. A popular way that the loved ones of an addict or alcoholic get help is through programs like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon that are for the loved ones of people with substance use disorders. These support groups offer you the support of people who have been through what you’re facing and can help you teach you how to care for yourself. Having the experience of others and the advice can change how isolated you tend to feel when you’re stuck in your spouse’s functioning addiction.

The 3 Stages of Alcoholism Explained: Your Ultimate Guide

For them, it starts as a sneaking suspicion that grows as they notice alcohol use becomes more frequent. It can lead to liver disease, pancreatitis, some forms of cancer, brain damage, serious memory loss, and high blood pressure. It also makes someone more likely to die in a car wreck or from murder or suicide.

• On the other hand, women are more vulnerable to addiction than men, and they become addicted more quickly.
• As long as there are good days, income and effort, the functional label persists.
• This first blog (of a three-part series) is about the ways that alcoholism impacts a marriage.
• Substance use disorders (SUDs) have such stigma in today’s society and people with SUDs want to believe they’re in control of their life.
• Being able to maintain major life responsibilities does not mean that alcohol is not harming them.

Item no. 1–14 represent engaged coping, item 15–23 represent tolerant coping, and item 24–30 represent withdrawal coping. Some of the often used engaged coping styles included actions such as sitting together and talking about drinking, which was reported to be used often by 93.4% wives. 93.4% of them also reported that their partners drinking was making them upset often. Another 93% of them used pleading their partners for not drinking as engaged coping style. Arguing is also considered to be another form of engaged coping which was used often by 70% wives.

Living with an alcoholic partner: Problems faced and coping strategies used by wives of alcoholic clients

Freeing yourself from guilt allows you to begin to take care of yourself; you can be a healthy person being with a functioning alcoholic. Finding the support that works for you is the best way to support your functioning alcoholic or addict spouse. Consciously or unconsciously, the codependent may help the alcoholic to continue drinking to maintain the status quo.

As long as there are good days, income and effort, the functional label persists. In our busy Michigan law practice we see countless different reasons for divorce. There are certain silent marriage killers like functional alcoholism and undiagnosed mental illness that can be somewhat more common than others. https://ecosoberhouse.com/ This first blog (of a three-part series) is about the ways that alcoholism impacts a marriage. Regarding physical symptoms, slurred speech and bloodshot or watery eyes are telltale signs of alcohol abuse. You may also observe unsteady walking, physical impairment, or difficulty with hand-eye coordination.

However, as functioning alcoholics drink more regularly, they develop a higher tolerance. They still want to feel the buzz or numb out from their problems for a while, so they will begin drinking more as their tolerance to alcohol increases. You can plan an intervention with the help of friends and family members or seek expert help from people who offer professional alcohol interventions.

Even binge drinking or alcohol warning signs may be missed or be perceived as moderate or tolerable. This [Drinking to Cope with Stress] can be done alone or in a group setting, though it will usually manifest in the former for functional alcoholics. While a drink as stress relief in moderation is typical for many adults, it is important to note if this is a repeated reaction. Although an intervention can take many forms, many of these meetings open with each participant stating how the alcoholic’s behavior has harmed or disappointed them. The alcoholic is then presented with a plan of care, including a proposal of consequences if they decide to refuse.

Individual Exclusive Private Therapy Retreats for Mental Health & Addiction Issues

However, if the rehabilitation program is an inpatient one and the spouse who is the wage earner pays for it, that should be a consideration with any spousal support order. We have seen such situations devolve toward physical abuse against the other spouse or children. What we write below is validated through our significant experience with California divorce cases that involve substance abuse. You peek in on the kids with a heavy heart, envious of their innocent and peaceful slumber, wondering for the millionth time why you’re here, whether you’re doing the right thing by staying. You wonder what you’re missing, what they’re missing, whether there’s something better out there or if it’s a classic case of the grass being greener in someone else’s yard. Sarah Allen Benton, M.S., LMHC., LPC, is a licensed mental health counselor and author of Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic.